Friday, December 30, 2011

Miscarry

Finding out I am pregnant leaves me bursting with joy and excitement. Uncontainable joy that I don't try to contain. So, I tell early because I want to share my joy with the world! While I understand why people choose to wait to share such blessed news, I just can't do it! I've had people question the wisdom of this decision, asking what would I then do if something "happened". I've gotten the shocked question...Have you even heard the heartbeat yet?!!! Alas, I have always thrown "caution" to wind.   My view has always been that if I miscarried my baby I would want the love and support of my friends and family to see me through that tough time. A miscarriage is a baby lost whether anybody else knows about it or not, and I just didn't feel like it would be something I would want to go alone.

We lost our baby on Christmas Day at eight weeks, and as hard as it has been, I am not sorry that I shared.  The joy that we felt before was just as real as the loss that we feel now, and I am grateful for the acknowledgement of that fact.

I am left humbled by the miracle that each precious life is.  I am reminded that few things in life are guaranteed.  A baby in my arms next August was no more guaranteed than are long lives for the rest of our children, or even my next breath, and I don't ever want to take that for granted.  God tells us that our lives are like vapor, here one second and gone the next.  The only way to make that vapor count is to be living for Him everyday, throwing caution to the wind on a daily basis.  In moments such as these the reality of this hits home.  It is good to be reminded, and to be motivated to make life count in the way God meant it to. 

God is good.  God is faithful.  His love endures.  He binds up the brokenhearted.  He makes our yoke easy and light.  Thank you Jesus for all of our blessings.  I am so very glad to know you.